Category: General Ramblings

15th January and already I’ve had a week in France (another one!), a trip to London, celebrated turning 52 and lots more planned!

The whole France thing came around by chance. A post in a Facebook group looking for a house sitter, I said yes & we were off! And it was fabulous.

It was simply stunning & I managed to write/edit around 15k words so I was happy with that.

What else? Oh my days, I went to see Gabby Bernstein. If you’ve been around a while you’ll know how much I value my spiritual practice, and it all started with Gabby so getting to see her was everything I hoped and more.

It was so so inspiring. I realised that actually, though I often receive comments on how well I look, inside I’m still rebuilding myself. Physically, emotionally and mentally I’ve been pushed to my limits. I don’t want to just live life, I want to love it, to embrace it, to wake up each day feeling excited at what lays ahead.

Im not doing that right now. Everything is so much hard work. I’m constantly battling and in pain and I’m exhausted with it all. I need to, I want to change my internal story. I want to move to wellness and well-being.

So that’s my plan for 2023.

2020 pushed me to my limits.

2021 Tried to break me.

2022 almost succeeded.

2023 is when I come back fighting!

15th January and already I’ve had a week in France (another one!), a trip to London, celebrated turning 52 and lots more planned!

The whole France thing came around by chance. A post in a Facebook group looking for a house sitter, I said yes & we were off! And it was fabulous.

It was simply stunning & I managed to write/edit around 15k words so I was happy with that.

What else? Oh my days, I went to see Gabby Bernstein. If you’ve been around a while you’ll know how much I value my spiritual practice, and it all started with Gabby so getting to see her was everything I hoped and more.

It was so so inspiring. I realised that actually, though I often receive comments on how well I look, inside I’m still rebuilding myself. Physically, emotionally and mentally I’ve been pushed to my limits. I don’t want to just live life, I want to love it, to embrace it, to wake up each day feeling excited at what lays ahead.

Im not doing that right now. Everything is so much hard work. I’m constantly battling and in pain and I’m exhausted with it all. I need to, I want to change my internal story. I want to move to wellness and well-being.

So that’s my plan for 2023.

2020 pushed me to my limits.

2021 Tried to break me.

2022 almost succeeded.

2023 is when I come back fighting!

It’s been a very low key Christmas for us this year. It’s the 2nd without dad, and unfortunately mum’s dementia is progressing at a rapid rate. We picked her up from the home to spend the day at my sons but she wanted to go straight back after she’d eaten. I think she found it too much and a little overwhelming. So home we came, no huge presents, just thoughtful gifts that will always hold a special place in my heart such as this picture from Milo in my fave colours!

And so we approach the end of another year. Increasingly grateful for this most amazing life, lots and lots of adventures already planned for 2023, and a personal challenge of which I will share more in a later post. Until next time, have a peaceful holiday and take care of yourself and each other,

Cat x

(No Evidence of Disease)

I didn’t mention it because I didn’t want to go back down that road mentally but after my first post treatment mammogram I was recalled for 2nd and 3rd imaging, which resulted in 3 further biopsies and a FNA (fine needle aspiration). As you can imagine, I was upset, beside myself with worry actually. My hair has more or less grown back (very curly I might say!), the bloating from chemo/radio/steroid treatment has mostly gone and I’m dealing with menopause symptoms like many hundreds of thousands of women out there. I had had a low reading on my latest Thyroid test but an increase in Thyroxine had sorted that within weeks, and aside from the usual aches and pains I have never felt better – or more alive. To have to go back down the road of surgery and treatment would just about break me I think.

After much to’ing and fro’ing with various departments at St James’ (no one to blame other than their IT system!) I finally met with the lovely, lovely nurse Sue today who told me the good, no excellent news that the changes they could see are post surgical and scar tissue – nothing to worry about and the biopsies showed no sign of disease.

Relief flooded through me, and the husband as you can imagine but it served as a reminder that once you’ve had cancer in your life it never truly leaves. Every year for the next 5 – 10 years we may well have this and do you know what, that’s fine. The nurse today said that they are like a dog with a bone when they see any changes and thoroughly investigate everything – you crack on, I like this line of thinking!

Thank you, thank you, thank you to every single person that has supported me, cheered me on and stuck by me. If by reading this blog it has spurred you on to check your chest then my work here is done!

And of course, massive eternal thanks to the wonderful staff at St James’ Hospital who have been nothing but outstanding from start to finish. Thank you for saving my life.

Now, pass me the alcohol free bubbles 🥂